Love & Dispair
by Suikazura
Summary: Kagome is trying to understand people she knows. She's waiting for someone.  she runs in to so much trouble staring with a little boy and it leads up to mote. Inu Kag, Sang Miro, Kik Nar, Sess Kag. Still working on a sumary.


**I'll try my best on this story. I just hope it goes well. I guess I better work hard.**

**Disclaimer: You know it and so do I. I don't own anything of Inuyasha.**

**Thank you for all who read this first chapter.**

**I'm not all sure how this is going to be, but I'm going to do my best.**

Chapter 1

Enduring Life

" I felt cold, scorned, and lost. I want a home, a family to love and cherish me. Abandoned from life, forced to live alone in darkness. The world is a very cold place. I accept the feeling of being cold, but one day I hope to feel warmth again. There is always some bad where ever I turn. I want someone to love and to love me back. Love and despair are reveals of life. One trying to over take the other. Where ever I am. If your out there. Come for me. I'll be waiting."

People walked the roads that led to the village surrounding the east side of the castle. Peasants and nobles walked in the same foot steps of others they didn't know. You could still see who was who.

It was market day. Many venders arrived early to set their booths up and start selling. All day people would be shouting out what they had to sell. At the end of the day when they all packed up some would be lucky enough to have money to buy rice.

A young girl walked the streets past the many people. She went unnoticed blending in with the other peasants. You could not tell who she was, for she was drenched in mud.

Kagome lived outside away from the village in a forest. The forest was a good walk but a short distance for her. She avoided the faces and things people whispered among others. She made her way to the village brothel on the far side of town.

The brothel was located in the richer part of the village. Nobles and sons of nobles went their very often. It was not looked down upon if you had a title and were rich. The many of them who went kept there identity's hidden.

The women of the brothel were their by choice. No one was bought or sold. The king saw that many women had to earn a living that way to support themselves and their family's. The king decreed if their should be any brothels in his kingdom the women would there by their own free will. They were still considered a disgrace.

Kagome stood on the door step of the brothel. The brothel house was a big place. It appeared as a home that a noble would own. The clients made appointments during the day then would return when it became night. They thought the night helped the mood and made things more special.

Kagome knocked on the door once again. An old lady stuck her head out from the slightly opened door. The women was rather short and old aged. The women wore a light pink kimono.

"I'm sorry. Your too old dear."

"I came to see Kikyo."

"Kikyo isn't taking any visitors." The lady said "Please leave."

The old lady started to close the door when it was pulled opened all the way by another girl.

Kagome looked towards the women. The appeared to be 21. She wore a deep red kimono with a gold floral pattern. Her long black hair draped past her lower back. She looked like a lady apart of the royal court.

"Keade, what's the matter," Kikyo asked.

"This girl want's to see you."

Kikyo looked at the girl. She had to look past all the mud to recognize her.

"Let her in."

Kikyo walked away then motioned for Kagome to follow her.

"Come on,Kagome, Don't mind Grandmother."

Kagome followed Kikyo. Kikyo led Kagome to her room down a long hall lite by very few lanterns.

Kagome had remembered when Kikyo first entered the brothel. She was only 13. Her training of learning took three years. She didn't start until she was sixteen. If kagome skipped training she would be old enough. She was seventeen though. They considered that to late to start.

Kikyo had her reasons to why she entered.

Kikyo sat in a chair next to her bed. Kagome stood.

Kikyo's room was the size of all the others. Her many gifts she received from admires were strung out in her room. Men gave her flowers, jewelry, and kimonos made from rich beautiful fabrics.

"Kagome, what happened to you. You're a mess."

Kagome looked at Kikyo and saw she desperately pitied her right now.

"A cart drove through a river of mud and happened to hit me with it."

"You can't leave here like that."

Kikyo took Kagome to the bath house.

"Get into one of the baths and get clean. I'll be back with something for you to wear. The mud can not possibly be washed away."

Kikyo went to find Kagome a kimono. Kagome wondered where she would find something simple for her or maybe she wouldn't return with something simple.

Kagome stepped into on of the baths with hot water. She sat and started to wash herself.

Kagome looked at her feet. They were beaten and pure black. She washede her feet so many times until she could see her original skin color again. She thought what was the use when her feet would become tainted again.

She was dirt free. She stepped out of the bath and wrapped herself in a towl She waited for Kikyo to return.

Kikyo returned holding a Kimono.

"Here, put this on. It was the simplest thing I could find."

"Thank you." Kagome said bowing.

Kagome took the kimono from Kikyo and started to put it on. Kikyo had left her to changed.

When Kagome was finished she returned to Kikyo's room. Along the way she pulled part of her hair back. Kagome saw that Kikyo had brought out a big mirror.

"Come here" she said to Kagome.

Kikyo took Kagome's hand and made her look in the mirror.

Kagome saw herself. She wore a lite green kimono with white circles in groups of three outlined in orange on various places on her kimono.

Kikyo stood behind Kagome and put her hand on her shoulders.

"Kagome, your very beautiful."

Kagome looked away from the mirror and saw an invitation with the royal seal of the king on a night stand near the bed.

"Are you listening to me."

"Yes" Kagome ansered.

"I can't be their to care for you like I use to.'

"I've always cared for myself".

"Your very beautiful. You could marry a wonderful man and be we taken care of."

"I couldn't. I don't want to get anywhere because of my looks. I can't do that like you."

Kikyo was now saddened at Kagome's words.

"I'm sorry . I din't…"

"Don't worry. " Kikyo said trying to hide the sadness in her eyes.

Kikyo sat down on her bed.

"You know, you do hold a lot.'

"I don't have anything except myself."

"You have me."

"That was long ago before you entered this place."

"I should leave."

Kagome left.

She walked the streets once again.

Kikyo sat on her bed. She was hurt but didn't blame Kagome. After all the time Kagome still didn't understand why Kikyo did what she did.

Kagome had only herself . Even if she had friends , she had to lean on herself and nothing else to help her stand.

To her she was alone in darkness even when she had people to pull her into the light.


End file.
